Ça me tente pas de traduire

Ça sonne comme la fin du début.

It's not just that. I can understand why you may have been frustrated or upset that I didn't recognise that you were cleaning and cooking as payment. But it's how you expressed it. Some of the things you would say were just childish, and I didn't think that you were like that.

Things like saying I need a housewife. Or when you just say "wow" instead of just asking "why haven't you responded?". I hate that. I really do. And I can't look past it.

And you wouldn't let go of it. Even when you told me about your visit to the doctor and I was asking about your back, you immediately had to bring it back to the argument. Sometimes you just have to let go. The thing was in the past and sometimes when it gets heated you just have to let it go. But you couldn't, and you won't in the future. I don't like having to feel like I'm always having to justify myself to you. To prove that I'm enough, or what you want.

And yes, it was made 10 times worse because we had to do it via Facebook, which makes it impossible to fully understand. But that's what this relationship is now. Facebook. And the only times we ever get to "chat" is when either you're at work or I'm at work so we don't have each others immediate attention anyway.

I've been thinking. It's only been six weeks since you've left. Just six. But it's felt like an eternity. And as each week passes, our arguments get worse and worse and it's because we're slowly moving away from each other, becoming desensitised to the love that we have because we can't show each other anymore. If this is what happens in six weeks I don't know what it's going to be like by November let alone March next year. When you left I was really worried about this happening. And then I tried to convince myself that it would be alright, but it's not.

But I don't know what to do. I don't want to continue fighting and losing my love for you. But I don't want to make what could be the biggest mistake of my life and let go of you either.

I'm still certain that no matter how long it be - 2 months or 2 years even - that if or when I finally meet you again I will fall in love all over again. But until then, this isn't working.